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Or better yet, no conversation at all, lest it wind up in a date-destroying debate?
Aish later went back and added a coda to the post, claiming the piece was misinterpreted and offering re-worded, “blunter” versions of their sage advice.
We can't know if someone is right for us until we see them as a whole person.
If we check that the most important qualities we are looking for are present in a potential dating partner, and decide to be flexible on everything else, we'll often see that we're really happy with the match, and the reasons we might have used to disqualify someone in the past aren't really that important in the overall scheme of things.
" Judah had become attracted to the blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman who became his wife, even though her "look" was very different than what he had believed would attract him.
When to Say "Yes" The principle behind "In The Ballpark" is simple.
5, “Pursue him,” passivity seems to be Aish.com’s prescription for a successful dating life for women. Failing to dress up and get made up for a date; listing too many academic and professional accomplishments on your online dating profile (“I’m looking for a wife, not a business associate,” one of Aish’s male informants explained); and opening up too much about your personal life (especially instances like the time “you and your sister didn’t speak for two years after a man you both liked chose to date her”).
Try to be flexible if the suggested person is a little taller, shorter, younger, older, balder, heavier, thinner, polished, unpolished, more frum, less frum , than your initial preference. W., a licensed psychotherapist, and Sherry Zimmerman, Esq. Zimmerman are the authors of the popular books, Talking Tachlis – A Singles’ Strategy for Marriage and In The Beginning - How to Survive Your Engagement and Build a Great Marriage.
We also suggest that you don't turn someone down on the basis of a vague sense that your personalities aren't compatible or you won't be attracted to them. , a family lawyer and dating advisor, have worked extensively with singles in their private practices and have presented scores of programs throughout the U. and Israel to help single men and women date effectively and overcome the individual barriers that prevent them from forming healthy relationships that can lead to marriage. They write a bi-weekly advice column, Navigating the Dating Maze, for Aish Hatorah’s on-line magazine, com, and a weekly column, A Dating Primer, for the Jewish Press.
That's why we suggest that daters look for someone who is in the ballpark in terms of compatible values, goals, direction in life, and background, and who has approximately four of the important personal qualities you or the person you are setting up is looking for.
Unless you have strong negative feelings about a personality trait (e.g., boisterous) or physical quality (such as a big difference in height or weight), we recommend that you don't disqualify someone for reasons that your dating mentor, or a married friend, tells you may turn out to be irrelevant in the overall scheme of things.